Poem - The ist

He calls names about the other man, comments of his skin,
He reels off words with no substance, with no thoughts and no feelin,
He'll slag off all the gypsies and he's scared of all the blacks,
And the Hindu at the newsagents does terrorists attacks.

He acts the charmer to the women, but slags them off behind their backs,
He says that they are all a pain and that they have caused him cracks,
And he gets jealous of another man, when he see's that he does well,
He'll act like he's an angel until you see that he's in hell.

So keep your eyes and ears open, and know when they pretend,
To respect you and respect folk, they'll act just like a friend,
But when you see their troubled souls, born in a troubled land,
They are yet to feel the things you know, you've got to understand.

They live in fear, I don't know why, it's just the way it is,
But for now we have a problem, that most of us now know exists,
These people need some healing, for they are locked inside their mind,
They actually think they're understanding, of the soul of all mankind.

The have a secret lust for darkness, and a hatred against love,
And all their hurt built up so much they cursed at God above,
But the truth is they're still human, even though they act like twats,
But I do believe deep in there somewhere, is someone that wants to come back.

So as we swiftly firmly let them know, that vampirism isn't right,
And try to wake them up and tell them, that they really do talk shite,
Even though you hate what you don't understand,and it's a shame you're really lost,
I wish you well on this life-changing mission, to walk away from that dull past.



Copyright Ben Westwood 2018

Here's why Poems From a Runaway is more than just a poetry book



Why Poems From a Runaway  is more than just a poetry book.



By Ben Westwood
Former Runaway and London street-kid.



So in 2016, at the age of 32, I started writing Poems From a Runaway, which is my childhood story of being a runaway from 10 years old.
In it I share 60 stories, some quite long, of how I went missing for weeks on end as a ten year old boy before going into the care system.

It’s written in timeline form in an attempt to grip the reader, and although it hasn’t been read by a lot of people yet, I’ve been told it works, with most saying they have found the book very easy to read, and even harder to put down!


A (very) brief breakdown of the younger me.

Just before I turned 12 years old, whilst living in my third foster home, I boarded a train and travelled 125 miles into London.

From there I lived in London’s East End, being taken under the wing of a 13 year old runaway called Joanne that had got into hard drugs and prostitution.
I was befriended by a lot of the homeless street characters whom I write about in my book.

Just before I turned 13 I was befriended by a guy in a homeless day centre, before being held up with a machete and locked in a flat before managing to escape.
I then went on to sleep rough in central London whilst constantly being caught and then running back off to London.
I write in my book how for six months I stayed undetected in an area I was known to be in by using a fake name and fake cockney (east London) accent.

By the age of 13 and a half, I was living as if I was a homeless adult, and knew how to pass the police radio checks. I was getting served for cigarettes and alcohol easily because I looked homeless, often with a rucksack and a sleeping bag poking out.
I also made a few friends and acquaintances that I also write about in my book, as well as those that didn’t have the best intentions for me.

In my book, I explain how I survived on the streets, and what it was like during the hard times when luck didn’t go my way and I hadn’t eaten or slept for weeks on end.
As well as my journey through the care system after living in numerous foster placements and children’s homes (most I write about in the book) , I explain why I was always getting arrested whilst living at home but never whilst I was away missing and how this led to me having a short spell in young offenders institute at the age of 16.


Poems From a Runaway – The journey so far.


Having no experience with book writing or publishing before, I set out to write my childhood story in 2016 after writing my first poem ‘Free Drinks On Haymarket’ which is a memoir from when I was 13 years old after walking into a sports bar and getting free drinks after telling the barman I was a professional footballer, or soccer player to those over the other side of the pond.

After several crazy house shares and other life events, I was able to complete the book after dedicating almost every moment I had to it.
And of course there came a point where I had done so much, that it was near impossible to want to turn back.
So after around a year writing the book, at the end of 2017 Poems From a Runaway was born.

I was thankful that I’d share a few of the stories with my friends both online and offline, and to get the photography for the book done I was able to raise some funds through a crowdfunder.
I’d tried going the traditional publishing route, but I was finding it near impossible to find an agent - despite my friends telling me I had a great story that people would really want to read about. So I decided that I’d worked on it so hard that nothing was going to stop me getting it out there, so I decided to self-publish the book.

I was fortunate to have the owner of a lovely little café/wine bar that I play songs at the open-mic night at – to sponsor me in order to get my first load of books, which were 40 copies of Poems From a Runaway handed out locally. I’d then lent some money from a friend to get another 40 more at some point, as well as releasing the book on Amazon.


After sending literally thousands of emails, press releases and newsletter notices since then, I’m pleased to say some great stuff has come of it.

One of my poems is about a family from Plantation in Florida that took me in off the street whilst they were on holiday, and I was fortunate enough to have WSVN News attempt to find them via a news piece.
I am still trying to find the family to say thank you.

I was able to share my experiences on a blog post with the charity Missing People as well as being featured in Become magazine, a quarterly magazine for children in care.

On 8th may I shared some of my experiences with Radio 5 as well as a fundraising appeal for Missing People on Radio 4 – presented by actor Jason Watkins


In June it was an absolute pleasure and honour to be invited to speak about my experiences at a conference on runaways alongside the Children’s Rights Parliamentary intergroup and Missing Children Europe.

I then went on to do one of my favourite radio interviews to-date with Suzie Thorpe from Cambridge radio 105 where I was talking about my childhood as well as my upcoming talk and book reading event with social work students, lecturers and foster parents at Anglia Ruskin University in collaboration with To The Moon And Back Fostering.

The event went on to be a great success with social workers talking about it for some time after, as well as commenting on the day how they found my experiences and insights somewhat valuable to their roles working with young people from similar backgrounds as myself.

I then managed to raise enough money through a crowdfunding campaign to get more copies of the book printed and to supply some free for support services which can also be purchased from my blog.
However you can get print-on-demand version of the book much cheaper and faster from Amazon in paperback and ebook format.



So how many people have actually read Poems From a Runaway?
Some social workers and missing children's charities that have read it absolutely love it, but I'd really like more people to discover it.

It really is more than a poetry book, it’s a novel in poetry which guides the reader through all sorts of scenarios and emotions, from the shocking to the comedic, which makes it a really easy and gripping read.

I’m using all the sales patter now aren’t I, I know, I know.

Agents and bookshops alike have often snubbed me off…. “sorry we don’t deal with poetry or independently published books” they say.
I knew I had to do this myself.
And so I have.

But I need some help, because I know what my friends will tell you… that these agents and bookshops don’t know what they’re missing.
I know I could possibly sound a little deluded saying that, but I’ve confidence in this book enough to take that risk.






With not many people having yet read Poems From a Runaway,
is there anything people can do to help?


Yes please!

Here’s a few ideas, and if there’s one or two you’d like to help with, it would be a massive help to my project.


If you can afford it grab a copy and leave us a review.
Although I don't recommend this book for young children. I think it would make a great resource for young people in the care system from the ages of around 13 upwards, depending on the young persons exposure to life.
You can also read the book in digital format completely free between 11th-15th October by downloading the ebook from the amazon page.  

You can like my Facebook page, and for those with a few more spare moments – invite your friends to it.

For those on Twitter, you can start a conversation with me at @PoemsFaRunaway

Sharing any of my stuff on social media is always a massive help, so if there has been anything that particularly has taken your interest, please feel free to share it if you feel to as it really helps get the word out for me.

Feel free to contact me at BenWestwooduk@gmail.com if you have any questions or queries, or would like to discuss about collaborating on a project such as talks/events with those working with young people.



That’s it from me, I can’t spam the world forever.
Thanks ever so much for reading.


All the very best.

Ben Westwood.





*

2nd editions available now.


Huge thanks to everyone that has helped make Poems From a Runaway possible.
If you missed the recent crowdfunder but would still like to guarantee your signed colour copy of Poems From a Runaway, then you can still do so by pre-ordering below.



 Unsigned Paperbacks from Amazon for less than £15 at  https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1981314350


Signed Colour copies available
Official release date - 1st October

£25 including postage to UK.
£30 including postage to Europe

£35 including postage to rest of world.  
Please allow up to 14 days for your book to be delivered.



Shipping options
Book signed to?

 Paperback - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1981314350







"A fascinating insight into the life of a young boy, from foster families and care homes to living with the homeless, on the streets of London, Ben was almost like a modern day Oliver Twist.
Such an interesting story, Could not stop reading it! I Highly recommend buying the book!" - Amazon review

"A truly emotive read. Humour is used to bridge a gap to what is a difficult life to imagine without doing having been there yourself. There is no pretence, there is no ego and supplies a heartfelt account of life on the streets. Recommended." - Amazon Review










Theresa May Genesis Remix


Someone had to do it lol.

A poem TO a runaway.





Now I don’t know about your life,
Or why you run away.
What you’re running too,
Or what you’re simply searching for.

All I know is I’ve walked those roads,
So here’s my tips from life.

Cuz even if you don’t see it yet,
You’ll appreciate this guidance.
When your chance comes for life to feel normal,
When it comes, just fight for it.

Now I’m not saying you can always change things.
Life is complex and you may be searching for better things.
Or simply wanting to not be sat still,
Like many of us do.

And I know everyone says what I’m about to say,
There’s no avoiding that it sounds cliché,
But those things you love, those passions you have,
That’s your runaway energy that you can transform,
So whilst you’re young don’t waste it.

Not in computer games, or the mind games people play,
When you feel some things are pointless, it’s no wonder people run away.
But what I wish that I’d done, when I was your age,
Was keep focusing on what was good for me, when I’d found that out.

Sometimes it’s there, or sometimes we wait,
But when it does come, don’t run away!
That sense of freedom can soon become habit,
But when you’ve the chance to excel, then make sure you grab it!
And maybe your openness to feelings are needed in this so-called normal world.
People ask you questions, as to why you run away,
But when I was young, I too didn’t even really know myself.
I just wanted my own dreams.

But many years later, after quite a lonely childhood,
Fighting off the people that could see me out on my own,
They don’t always come with scary faces that give us warning,
But will often be those that offer to help,
When they see us out alone.

That’s why you’ve gotta fight to be you, and do what you love.
But start searching for it now, whilst you have you a home,
Because it’s a hard thing to do,
When you’ve got nowhere to sleep,
And running from the police.

That exciting feeling that you get, when you know you won’t be found,
Can instead be something more worthwhile, to turn your life around.
You need to learn about the subconscious, and how those thrills become addictive,
It’s obvious the best thing, is to keep yourself healthy and active.

Music, sports - whatever it is,
That passion you have, will be your own bliss.








Why changing FOBT stakes to a maximum of £2 is simply not enough.

Please sign my petition at https://www.change.org/p/theresa-may-mp-help-protect-our-communities-from-gambling-harm-with-sufficient-self-exclusion

Why changing FOBT stakes to a maximum of £2 is simply not enough. 


They've been saying they are going to change the stakes on these electronic betting machines (FOBT's) for as long as I can remember. 
Whenever I've brought up the subject it's often been the first response I've heard back from people.
"Oh it's been in the papers that, they're changing the stakes."
"They say they are" I often reply. 

I've been in this game long enough now to accept that most people don't understand or even care about this subject. My attempts at getting people to see past the immediate image of the problem gambler lost in a trance at the machine have all but failed.
To many folk, the children in poverty, families breakdowns, mental health problems, suicides, crime poverty and the many other knock-on effects are simply not a part of the story that most are willing to accept.

It's easy to stand on your high-horse and say that you're not foolish enough to gamble or that you too once had a win but that it didn't leave you addicted. Well done you.
But are you thinking it all through properly? 
Do you even know what happens to a lot of lottery winners? 
A surprising big win out of the blue can be a very very dangerous thing, Neurologically- even psychically.  And if you don't know that... then you don't know problem gambling. You don't know addiction. 


But without me going on a tangent here, I'd like to talk about why changing to stakes on FOBT's won't change much in the overall landscape of problem gambling in betting shops. 
It's important to remember that that focus here is on roulette, the game that got me hooked after I walked in a bookies to keep dry out of the rain and after putting around £3 in I eventually won around £500. 

It's what got a lot of other people hooked at the time. But it's important to remember that we are over a decade on from that now, and is roulette even the game of choice anymore these days.
As online casino's provide a whole array of different slot games - betting shops have tried their best to keep up with them.
You can even play the same games on betting shop FOBT's than you can online.
The reality is indeed very blurry.

So let's not fool ourselves here. A £2 maximum is great to slow down roulette players, agreed. But when it comes to overall gambling it only serves those with a higher disposable income.
I've been there many times playing slot games at even just 20p to 50p a spin, and still lost huge amounts of money.
The time-frame always changes so despite your subconcious thinking it knows how to work it all out, it never really can. Sometimes I win or lose quickly...other times it takes a while whilst being drip-fed small wins. 

So it doesn't solve everything. Do I have a better proposal?
No.

But all I can ask is that for those that really do wish to tackle their gambling problems is that they are allowed to do so reasonable.
In my petition I explain how the self-exclusion system really doesn't work in favor of problem gamblers wishing to escape the trance.
I have put up a reasonable and achievable proposal which can be found on my petition, and I think I can feel it brewing that I will have to get this pushed out to more people somehow so watch this space! I can feel it coming ;)


Thanks for reading and please remember I work very hard to blog, write and put petitions etc together but it's all rather meaningless without your support and shares, so thanks for helping me get this out there.

Big Love.






Street homelessness- Kindness can kill. But only if you don't understand it yet.

 I'm not sure how this blog post will come across but I wanted to write it whilst I'm in raw emotion, whilst I'm sort of in a little way frustrated, angry or perhaps on a mission.

When I think of my book Poems From a Runaway and why I really want it to succeed, in my mind there are another subset of people that I really want to give a voice for and something which right now I feel is so close to my heart that I have no shame in admitting that I almost shed a tear of love for.
 Perhaps I can spot my future mental health problems ahead already? Who knows?

By now those following me or may have read Poems From a Runaway know that I've been currently raising awareness of my experiences of being in care and running away with missing children's charities and social workers.
But in my story, during my days as a teenager sleeping rough in the west end, there are another unspoken-for group of people that often get brushed aside whenever we as a society talk about homelessness, poverty and politics.

What has inspired this article was in fact a post on Twitter I saw this morning from a homeless charity recommending to people that it is much better to give money to a homeless charity rather than give money/food/clothes to.. (I didn't actually see the rest of the post as they had to write the rest on another tweet, but I presumed I knew where this was heading.)
We've all seen the signs around discouraging street begging and handing over stuff to the homeless.



If only the world was as clear-cut as some people make out. It's a philoshopy that would work in an ideal world, but reality is far from ideal and those going through journeys of homelessness know that more than anyone. 

 I know I've got quite a deep insight into the world of begging having have done it from 12-15 years old (and for a little bit at 16). 
Despite having many times of destitution, I myself had my lucrative days for sure. The affects of my childhood traumas hadn't really caught up with me then  and in many respects I was extremely fortunate to buying knickerbockerglories and grams of hash instead of crack rocks and heroin.

But there were in fact many other times when hunger and sleep deprivation had been driven to it's limits, and often in front of my very eyes I could see others that had been going through it long-term.
See us street kids, we learn something because we have to, it's fight or flight.
But like I've mentioned before,  I feel that no one really sees those out on the streets that don't put themselves on show.

Those that have read my book and understand my character could most likely imagine it when I had shared my begging money with others on the streets.
I remember one guy that was to later occupy my doorway at Tokyo Joes that had actually turned down the money I'd offered him, simply out of pride.

But there are many others out there that need the help that people don't see, and slogans such as 'Kindness Kills' do to some degree have their merits...but perhaps those writing them they may be unknowingly causing further despair to many other people already struggling.

As not everyone that reads these signs have themselves experienced what life can be like on the streets, perhaps it's easy to overlook that homeless services these days can be few and far between, limited further due to cuts and in many cases as it often has been -  only open for less than a handful of hours every day.

Sure it's true that millions of pounds every week across the country is going to the hands of hard drug dealers through begging whilst police forces claim to struggle to stop it, but even there lies many deeper untold stories of those with long-term drug problems struggling to get the framework and support they need to overcome the most devastating addictions that I've ever witnessed. 

But away from those that wrap sleeping bags around their legs and place themselves on show, perhaps people can easily overlook the fact that we have many others spending evenings on their own huddled in doorways with no one to talk to, and no one that comes to offer help.
If you think I may be over exaggerating then please remember I myself have been ignored by the public at 13 years old whilst literally starving, tired and weak, and during those times nobody at all responded to my cries for help.

I didn't know where many of the day centers were back then, and even if I did then perhaps I may have missed their opening hours or not got in. Remember that these places are often ran by volunteers and so are only open for practical immediate services such as food and clothing for a short space of time, if it all. 

Have you yourself walked through city streets day in day out for what may be your only meal of the day after getting only a few hours sleep in a park or a doorway?
Thank goodness for the volunteers and street services out there that go out of their way to provide food, drinks and resources to the homeless. But lets not forget that so many also don't find the help they need. 



I often find myself wondering of the lives of the old bag ladies that were huddled into doorways at night. Perhaps the homeless day centers that I would visit both as a youngster and an adult could have been too loud for them at times? What tragedy in their lives had led to them living like this? Is it purely mental health or did something happen to them? Do they even trust people any more?

 Sure the 'Kindness Kills' and similar signs and messages often relate to street begging in particular, but I worry about these slogans being misinterpreted by those reading them. 
Perhaps the lines between someone being a 'career beggar' and someone that is simply a 'rough sleeper in need' can be too easily blurred.


So whatever signs you read relating to not giving directly to homeless people, please remember that even many of those you see begging have already lived a somewhat institutionalized life for a variety of reasons.
It's one thing saying that you understand depression, but it's another to say you understand having to learn to cope with it over life pretty much completely on your own and completely winging it as many out there living on the streets are doing.
Many of those people will still likely be sitting in those doorways during Christmas and on their significant milestone birthdays.

So what do I want people to take from this? I want people to not underestimate how much of an impact a small act of kindness can make for anybody, and it is certainly one of my main messages in my book.
If everyone would have left me for someone else to deal with, despite being a missing teenager and not actually technically homeless,  I would certainly be a different person than I am today, and perhaps not for the best, especially in my growing years.

It's for you the reader to start learning between those that truly need the money and help and those that are quite clever at saying the right stuff to get it from you.

There's a lot too all this, but claiming that homeless charities can take on the mammoth task of providing practical help for every homeless person is a fantasy statement in my opinion. 
Compassion. Use it or lose it.


You can find out more and pre-order the latest edition of Poems From a Runaway at https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/a-runaways-story-of-living-on-the-streets



Beggars can't be choosers? A statement that really doesn't help homelessness.

Apparently beggars can't be choosers but that statement really makes me wonder how I would have got along living on the streets as a vegetarian of which I am today.
To be fair, back as a youngster I was extremely grateful for the burgers and cafe sandwiches brought for me by passers-by, and even these days as a busker trying to act as professional as possible I still get offered the odd meat-filled sandwich, which I politely decline whilst explaining my reason why.


The passing Joe Public with their good intentions may well understand this, but reasons as to why those living on the streets sometimes refuse help runs much deeper than someones ethical stance, or whether or not they actually enjoy eating a dry boiled-egg roll.

I've heard the echos before on those forums.
"I rang a hostel for him and he left there after a day and he's now back on the street. He obviously doesn't want to help himself." 

And -  "there's plenty of help out there, they're simply not trying enough"

I can sympathize with the frustration of today's young people that find themselves with no support network because during my adult experiences of homelessness across the UK I have seen myself firsthand of how depressing the conditions can be.


As someone that spent my adolescent years in the care system and feeling somewhat a 'child of the state' I can't knock the amazing work that is being done out there by homeless charities and hostels. 
 But many people simply aren't aware of the scope of landlords and so called charities or organisations that use the homeless simply to line their pockets.
If you don't think homeless factory farming exists, let me tell you that it does and you need to consider that before judging why some people would rather not be in one.


In my journey into adulthood, as well as squatting I also lived in hostels in London from the age of sixteen and even some of those were open to improvement and felt very much like the adult version of children's homes to some degree, with their red tape and rules.
But a few times now outside of London I've seen a very different story which made me realise that I had in fact previously been quite lucky.

Now I don't want to knock these charities, they may be doing the best they can and I'm certainly not trying to shame them, but I want more people to know what it's like for many of those that are actually trying to make an effort to get themselves out of homelessness. 


I remember around ten years ago now I really needed some help, the only place available for me was what I still consider a somewhat bizarre experience.
It was a hostel with fifteen feet high gates and fence of which after around 8pm you weren't allowed out of, so you had to be really dedicated if you wanted to stay there. 

It had a very institutional and almost prison-camp feel to it that place did, with cameras all over the building and I'd been told by staff there that they also had microphones on them. 
Even my bedroom resembled a prison cell, so much in fact that I'm wondering if the building was in fact a former prison or borstal.

Anyhow it wasn't quite for me that place and I only stayed a night or two before moving on back to square one.


Around six years ago I found myself homeless in the midlands and sought homeless advice which led to a referral to a room in a house of six people. I thought due to my previous life experience that I would get used to being the only one in a house of six not being on the crack or the gear, but if it wasn't the constant and caked smell of heroin that had started to depress me then it was the sometimes justified paranoia of having all my stuff nicked to pay for someones fix. 
It also wasn't exactly enlightening to come out of my room on a regular basis to see my housemate sitting on the steps waiting for his girlfriend to finish having paid sex either.


I had in fact before that been referred to another hostel thirty miles away from where I was living. It wasn't simply bad luck, most single men in the area had been referred to one of two hostels outside of town.
Everything seemed pretty kosha when I googled it, and upon getting there I was given a key for my room which was inside a nearby house ran by the organisation.
I was to discover my room's window was completely broken and therefor sealed up with masking tape and upon opening the door I noticed a funky smell, but thought I'd get used to it.

That night I was to hear the residents of the hostel outside talking about breaking into someones room. I didn't know who's it was, was it mine? 
Anyhow I was tired and so got some rest.
I'm not sure what that funky smell was but once I'd awoken I couldn't stop vomiting. 
It was an odd night to be fair, I was asked if I wanted to pay for sex on numerous occasions on my walks outside as well as if I wanted to buy crack and heroin.

'Please stop leaving your needles in the stairwells' read the signs in the hallways along with a picture of a needle and red circle with a line through.
I tried to clean the room but I knew I wasn't going to get any better in there and I was still very sick.
Luckily I had just been paid my benefits so I brought myself a B&B just down the road for two nights, and after having the window wide open I soon recovered in time to keep plodding on.


So for those that think homeless people have some sort of magic solution to progress in life, then perhaps think again.
How would you feel?  
Don't get me stared on house shares with the many many landlords out there claiming to help the homeless. 
Some may have good intentions at heart but may just simply not quite understand what such a complex task they can be taking on.

In the last four years alone with house shares and landlords 'helping the homeless' I've seen dangerous weapons on numerous occasions as well as hard drug use, had my room burgled in my last house share and have had to constantly battle with some pretty damaged characters whilst landlords deem them not problems to get involved with despite their own properties getting trashed.
In a way both my life on the streets and my times from sixteen living in London hostels were somewhat a very safe experience compared to how life is now for many people that find themselves wanting to progress in life, yet grasping to reach a way out of their struggles.

My point is... take a second to think what those people you may have judged  have gone through. How many times has the system failed them? How many times have they already tried the advice you're giving them only to be let down by a broken system that claims to have all the safeguards there for people, but really holds an untold secret that many simply give up after being let down either by red tape or being referred to places where they end up worse off.


Sure I myself was able to get through the hostel system as a young person without being tempted by the constant stream of hard drugs that were around me, but for quite some time now I've feared for those that may suffer a lifetime of struggle through one foolish mistake made in their unguided youthful years.
However much I'd not want my own children to grow up wrapped up in cotton wool, I'd never want them growing up in some of the places I've been to in my mid-twenties, yet I see young people are being referred to. 

I guess I'm aged and mature enough to sort of 'get' the security policies that a lot of my previous hostels had. Just like in the children's homes it's hard to understand some of the rules such as signing in and out when you live it and you're young, but in hindsight I consider myself lucky to have had a few forms of security back then.

There was another thing I was also thinking about when I started writing this article, and other memory from my time living on the streets as a runaway teenager.
And that was about a few angelic warnings I had also received by the latter end of thirteen years old.
By then I was mingling with the homeless at soup runs around the west end and had already heard the stories of people being brainwashed by cults and others being invited to do paid work with travelers only to find themselves stuck in the middle of nowhere unable to leave and with no one to help.

Along with men trying to groom me for all sorts of reasons, I had indeed been invited on numerous occasions to work with travelers and despite the fact that some of those offers may have been completely genuine, I'm glad I never took the risk because it has been known before and since for some of the west end's homeless to find themselves completely trapped in the middle of nowhere. 


Funnily enough I once knew one lad from a hostel that I lived in and was then one day years later stunned to see him in a documentary where he had been taken in by a religious group, but seemed a somewhat more damaged and troubled person than when I knew him and because he was found to have a drink problem he was totally deserted by them.
There are many great and amazing christian groups out there doing fantastic work all across the board, but I think those most filled with the holy spirit would agree that mankinds ego and controlling behavior far too often takes over the dynamics of group nature throughout society and religion, including with some personalities and structures within religious-based groups.


There's a lot going on here with homelessness, but there are so many people feeling misunderstood by those that have never really experienced what it's like to be homeless and completely on your own in today's world.
So that person you come across that you think has never really tried or made any effort to change their situation, perhaps there is a lot more to their story that affects their day to day living than many of us have taken the time to think about.
And maybe your advice isn't always as great as you think it is. 

Thanks for reading.
Ben Westwood.


Find out more about my childhood story 'Poems From a Runaway' via my crowdfunder page at https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/a-runaways-story-of-living-on-the-streets
And thanks for your support.






Matt Willis And James Bourne from Busted finally know about my book.

So for those that don't already know, just under two decades ago when I was around 14 or 15 years old, I was laying down in a doorway late at night on Piccadilly W1 about to go to sleep.
Not that anyone knew my real age, I was living life as a missing runaway teen pretending to be an adult.


Two lads got out of a taxi in front of me and the taxi drove off. 
"Spare any change at all please lads?" I said.
"We don't have any change on us, but you're welcome to come back to ours for a drink" I think it was James that said.


It was very rare for me to take up peoples offers like that, simply out of self-protection but some people you just know are sound and instinct takes over. 
So I packed up my sleeping back into my rucksack, and followed James and Matt down Piccadilly towards their hotel.

"We're in a band that's gonna be famous" I remember Matt saying whilst a little tipsy.
I actually just thought he was a pisshead spouting bollocks at first until we got to their hotel.

Those that have read Poems From a Runaway already know there is a chapter/poem in there called 'Busted' dedicated to this story, but thanks to a newfound friend creating some magic through Twitter, I'm very chuffed to say that Matt Willis and James Bourne both know about the book, and even remember me which is great and it's been fantastic to speak again.

Matt has also donated some money to my crowdfunder and James has been retweeting some of my tweets which is really helpful, thanks lads!

Not only did I want to update my friends about it but I just thought I'd let all the Busted fans know about it, because you never know one or two of them might want a copy of the book. 



Those wishing to read the full poem can pre-order colour signed paperbacks and hardbacks of Poems From a Runaway via my crowdfunding page at https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/a-runaways-story-of-living-on-the-streets or buy the non-colour interior version from Amazon at https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1981314350

Thanks for everyone's support so far.

 Big Love.

Here's the first page of the poem 'Busted' 
...And yes the typo's will be fixed in my new edition :)

Post book memories - One day in Walsall

An old memory that never made it into the book and hadn't popped into my mind for the whole year of writing Poems From a Runaway, was one particular night in Walsall, when I would have been twelve or thirteen at the time.
I'd actually been on the run and sleeping rough in London and one day got on a train to Walsall.
Even  as I'm writing this, all the little details that I had completely forgotten over all these years are coming back.
The reason I was in Walsall because one of the homeless workers that approached me on the street had got me into a hostel in Walsall, although obviously when I would have got there it would have been a little difficult  to make a benefit claim.

I walked past what I thought was the hostel and didn't go in, and instead slept rough in a doorway in the center of Walsall.
I must admit it was pretty scary to be honest. It seemed normal to do it in London but I hadn't noticed anyone else sleeping out that night, although there was a big chance there actually was.

As I bedded down I remember two blokes in their late twenties to early thirties walk past me, notice me and then take a couple of steps back to look.
"Fkin ell he looks young" I think one of them said. They then came up to me to offer me some money and asked where I was from.

As some of you already know, I felt I always needed a cover in those days to stay undetected, I can't remember what I said my name was...it might have been Toby Sycamore because I used that one a lot.
I'd spoken it all in a fake London accent and told them I was from Whitechapel.
In fact half of my family are from Walsall, but I hadn't met my dad again until I was thirteen.

The invited me to a pub in the center of Walsall, I won't say which one it is for legal reasons as I don't want anyone getting in trouble for letting an underage minor drink in their pub.
The truth was I went to all sorts of establishments in those days, and because I slept out on the streets everyone seemed to just accept I was of legal age.

So we had a game of pool in one of these pubs and the two lads invited me back to their gaff. We got a taxi and let me sleep in the hallway in the block of flats they lived in so that I could keep out of the cold.
Please don't pipe up and say they could have invited me in because as a lot of us know, you just never know who's gonna mess you over, and maybe back then if I had saw a wad of cash then I may indeed have been tempted to take it and run to continue my adventures. 
You don't really understand how much of an impact it can have until you've experienced the adult world, so they probably made the best move to be fair. 

I seen them in the morning and that was that, the next day I think I was in London again.
I'm just wondering if those two chaps are around anywhere and if they remember speaking with a lad sleeping rough that came from London, and they gave him a drink and played pool with him.

I'd like to confess that my story was bullshit, I was 12 and my accent wasn't even real.
But I do remember what you did and I just wanna say...top lads! Respect 👊


THIS STORY WAS A BURIED MEMORY WHICH I'D FORGOTTEN ABOUT UNTIL AFTER SELF-PUBLISHING POEMS FROM A RUNAWAY.
YOU CAN GET THE BOOK DIRECTLY FROM AMAZON AT  
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1981314350

OR SIGNED COLOUR COPIES AVAILABLE FROM THE PAYPAL LINK BELOW.

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Four lines for the old gals on the street.

Not from the book, just a bit of improv

*Press release** UK former child runaway tells his story to social workers, fostering services and children’s rights politicians.


7th July 2018



‘Poems From a Runaway’ debut-author Ben Westwood calls out for support from the international social work community to help spread the word of his book funding campaign.


During 2017, tinkering away on his laptop and scribbling notes for most of the year was 33 year-old Ben Westwood, a former child runaway from the UK
He was writing his debut book ‘Poems From a Runaway’, which is a collection of sixty stories about his life until the age of 16 years old.

Sleeping in ditches and car parks across Staffordshire from 10 years old was Ben’s life before he found himself in London whilst missing at the age of 12.
After a series of shocking events, by 13 he was sleeping rough outside London’s Victoria station before becoming a somewhat permanent W1 resident on the world-famous Piccadilly.

Whilst there he slept in doorways and mingled with the homeless, often begging to survive.
He lied about his name and real age to get into day centres, and even managed to sleep in hostels for a night or two here and there until it was time to make a social security claim, which of course he couldn’t do being a young teenager.

Despite certainly being a hard-hitting and somewhat unique childhood story containing moments that include sleep-deprivation, extreme hunger and even kidnappings – those of you expecting the sounds of violin music and calls for sympathy may find yourself surprised as this simply isn’t one of those type of books.
And for those thinking it’s a poetry book, well it’s not really just that either.


Westwood accredits some of his inspiration and style of the book to the early work of A.A.Milne of which he himself used to read as a young child.
But Poems From a Runaway itself is written in the perspective of the then young person confused by adults and society.

Be prepared to be laughing one minute, and completely surprised the next as Ben takes you through his journey in a style which those that have read it since its initial release say is somewhat addictive and a book that’s hard to put down.

Ben’s efforts of writing about a somewhat hidden and unspoken world haven’t gone unnoticed.
On 6th June he was invited to speak about his experiences alongside the European Missing Children umbrella charity at a conference on runaways at European Parliament in Brussels.


On 29th June he also spoke for 90 minutes with a group of over thirty social work students, lecturers and foster parents at Anglia Ruskin University in Cambridge, UK and has another event coming up on 16th July with social workers in Somerset, UK.


With no literary agent, publisher or manager Ben has funded his self-published book through his own money and through donations from his friends.
With only just over 100 colour copies ever printed, and with a new ‘typo-free’ edition coming out he’s launched a crowdfunding campaign to sell pre-orders of the new version to fund his venture to get Poems From a Runaway  finally into bookshops around the world

His Crowdfunder is already live and runs until 12 midday (uk  time) on 14th August and he is hoping to raise at least £2500 ($3322 US) to get his book venture set up and ‘Poems From a Runaway’ on the map.

You can find out more through the crowdfunder page at

You can contact Ben Westwood directly by emailing benwestwooduk@gmail.com
As well as on Twitter @ PoemsFaRunaway